Relationships Concerns

Everyone deserves to feel safe, respected and loved in their relationships. If you are experiencing harm, discomfort, or fear in your relationship, it may be time to get help.

Confidential advocates provide non-therapeutic support to help students determine their needs in regards to health (physical, mental, and emotional), reporting options, and academic concerns after experiencing sexual assault, dating violence, and/or stalking. They provide information on personal safety, boundaries, relationships, campus & community resources and can accompany students to incident-related appointments with police, Title IX, and more.

The advocates can be reached at myoptions@vcu.edu, or at 804-828-6200.

Go to Advocacy Services

Red Flags

Unhealthy relationships typically start out like all other relationships- they can be loving, exciting, and fun. Over time, red flags may begin to pop up that escalate a relationship to unhealthy levels.

Here are some red flags that a partner may be abusive or unhealthy:

  • Monitors all of your activities and demands to know where you are at all times.
  • Is jealous and doesn’t want to “share” you with friends and family.
  • Can’t stand to spend time away from you.
  • Has a history of trouble with the law, get into fights, or break and destroy property.
  • Blames you for how they treat you, or for anything bad that happens.
  • Abuses siblings, other family members, children or pets.
  • Puts down people, including your family and friends, or call them names.
  • Tries to isolate you and control whom you see or where you go
  • Idolizes you and doesn't see you as a whole person.
  • Pressures you to be physical or sexual when you don’t want to be.
  • Is physically rough with you (push, shove, pull, yank, squeeze, restrain).
  • Doesn't listen to you or show interest in your opinions or feelings.
  • Blames all arguments and problems on you.
  • Tells you how to dress or act.
  • Threatens to harm themselves if you break up with them, or tell you that they cannot live without you.

Credit: http://www.theredflagcampaign.org/

If you’ve experienced any red flags, it’s not your fault.

Abusers use power and control to maintain unhealthy relationships. Abuse may happen physically, emotionally, financially compounded with isolation, and fear of retaliation. The Power and Control wheel is a resource used to understand how different forms of abuse can manifest in relationships and maintain power over another person, making it difficult to leave the relationship.

Safety Planning

A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan to improve your safety while experiencing abuse, preparing to leave an abusive situation, or after you leave. This plan includes vital information tailored to your unique situation and will help you prepare for and respond to different scenarios, including telling your friends and family about your situation, coping with emotions, and various resources suited to your individual circumstances.

Head to loveisrespect.org to fill out a safety plan, or come in to see an advocate for assistance.

Resources

Loveisrespect.org

Free and confidential 24/7 resources for survivors

Romantic Relationships 
Information on ways to manage the challenges of relationships and develop close bonds.

How To Handle A Breakup
From Everydayhealth.com – This link provides a short video on helpful tips to handle a breakup.

Love Is Louder
Love is Louder is a Jed Foundation, MTV, and Brittany Snow project to support anyone feeling mistreated, misunderstood, or alone. It is a movement for all types of people who come together to raise the volume around the message that love and support are louder than any internal or external voice that brings them down.

VCU Sponsored Video On Consent
Not Here, Not Now.